Peer Reviews of Informational Reports
&
Three Questions for Peers' Reviews on My Essay
Three Reviews
For A.'s essay, I really enjoyed how she integrated her interview with the rest of her material. She let it flow naturally into her paper so that it was easy to see how the two connected. The three things I would recommend for A. to work on were,
Her citation. Although A. provided the sources in the test and a good works cited page, she did not include the citation for her “MBA Writing Tips” article in parenthesis. For the rest of her citations, she did not include the date when they were written beside the name of the author.
For one of her sentences about phone vs. email communication, I was confused about how this tied into the rest of the paragraph about just emails, and would recommend getting rid of it or starting a new paragraph (it seemed like an extra thought).
For her paragraph dealing with reading improving writing, I would love to see an article or citation (such as the interview) which supported this personal thought of hers.
A.'s essay had such a rich vocabulary, so I enjoyed reading it in depth!
For C.J.'s essay, I really liked his thesis statement about writing being required in all fields, especially his field of justice administration. It provided his paper with a great springboard to the rest of his essay.
The three things I would recommend C.J. to work on would be:
His citation. I didn't see any citation in parenthesis (i.e., Rawdon, 2008), although he did provide a works cited page.
I would recommend clarifying the first quote that the officer made at the beginning of the paper to make it clearer. It seemed to be grammatically confusing for me.
To give the paper more depth outside the interview, I would recommend C.J. Perhaps devoting at least one paragraph to one of the forms of justice administration writing he mentioned through an article, such as discussing what “briefing” is defined as from another source.
C.J. definitely made me understand what writing was involved in his field of study.
For S.'s essay, I enjoyed the third paragraph the most about the interview information she gained about writing in dental hygiene. It definitely clarified what fields were involved in choosing it as a major.
The three things I would recommend S. to work on would be:
Some of the information in the paper (such as the sentence about suicide with dental hygienists) didn't seem to apply to writing in the field, although it was interesting! I would recommend taking those few sentences out.
In the third paragraph, I saw that her interviewee mentioned what types of writing hygienists did---I would love to see the titles of a couple of academic journals mentioned in that sentence as well to support what the interviewee mentioned (“Dentists Today”, etc.?)
I'm not sure how S could reformat some of the material, but if she could integrate the interview with the articles she mentioned at the end by tying them together somehow with a common point of interest, that would be neat.
S. had a great interview that seemed to cover so much about her profession, and it showed through in her writing.
Questions for my Peers
The top three questions I would like to ask my peers would be these:
How would you suggest citing a website within the text? Have you found any information pertaining to this in your own citations?
Did you feel as if the wording I used talking about the use of the template/lesson plans made sense?
Are there any sentences in my paper which you feel are too run-on (some professors have told me this was a problem with my writings in the past)?
No comments:
Post a Comment